Clare Ford's Bio and Free Gift

Click to download Clare's three tips to manage stress in conception and early pregnancy.

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Time Stamps

Every birth is different with different family dynamics,

First recommendation as a mum to be is to get informed without getting overwhelmed by information. Make a plan that fits your values.

4.48  Along with information you need to be empowered so as not to hand power over and trust your intuition. Bring your heart and soul into the equation along with your mind.

6.48  Build your intuition muscle in advance so you know what your inner voice sounds like and can call on it when needed.

Use anchors- e.g. mudra or hand movement to trigger relaxation.

9.34 The power of intention - spoken out loud and written down. Intuition is your surf board and connection to Source is the sea. You need your intention to get on the board and in the sea.

3 Small Steps to confidence you can take every day. 1.  take three slow breaths. and ask, What is wrong with now? 2. Notice your thoughts and what you say to yourself and accept those thoughts that are trying to keep you alive so 3, choose to change those thoughts when unhelpful.

1552 Let go of your perfectionism. You don’t have to give birth perfectly, you don't have to look perfect as you walk out of hospital. Imperfection is the new perfect. 

19.44  The importance of connection on the maternal bond with your baby. New studies in epigenetics have proven long term benefits can change trajectory of child and adult life already starting in the womb by taking time to connect every day for just a few minutes. This may massively boost your confidence afterwards as you continue to intuitively parent  and help reduce possibility of postnatal depression

21.28 Clare's journey through Post Natal Depression and out the other side.  It's not classist it's not sexist , don't feel guilty. 

25.21 Beautiful Souls Vision Statement – my mission is to raise the vibration of our next generation.  How conscious connection and maternal bond in utero is crucial. We are birthing new outside the box thinkers, creative people and visionaries who will move humanity forwards  and they need a different start to fulfil their potential. 

27.00 Working backwards to the womb to heal-supported by epigenetics a lot of emotional traumas that present been teaching twenty years later on in life can be prevented by taking action now in pregnancy by connecting with your baby and being consciously aware of thoughts.  This knowledge and science is cutting edge stuff so don’t feel guilty if  it's new to you. Never too late to heal.  ​

31.22 Become aware of our thoughts and environment and how others energy is affecting us and make caring choices for ourselves  accordingly

Use your voice. Tap into your intuition. Ask questions about procedures and be prepared to change caregivers. Stand in your no.

Practice standing in your no. and delegate supporters to do it on your behalf so you don’t have to do it in labour as you need to feel safe and heard.  you are the Goddess in that space you are the key person bringing new life into this world what greater gift can you gift to humanity so step up to this and be that.

Make sure your inner and outer team are all on the same page. What you are doing is huge and humbling at the same time. Miracle sacred. You are that too. You are amazing.

Lorna Phillip's Bio

Time Stamps.

Lorna is a mum to two adults born 89 and 93 and Grandma to two little boys age 3 and 1. She retrained as a doula when during a deputy manager role with Sure Start Children’s centre she realised the importance of women's birth stories and how many were not as positive as they could be.

3.50 What makes a difference in a nutshell is being listened to and responded to with respect not like a naughty school girl who wants too much.

Tips to help  if you are not being listened to.  1 Know you can ask questions. 2 ask for time 3.Know its not your fault if you don't understand at first.

If still not happy sack them off.! Do your research just as you would choosing a school for your child.

8.00  What is the nonsense of " This is my plan for you, this is what we are going to do."?

Take someone along for appointments, write down your list of questions and tick them off.

11.45 Know you have time. Presented in a you’ve got to make your mind up now , ask for time there usually is some.

14.25  How quickly atmospheres can change both in a positive and negative direction in the birthing room and how to ensure you keep the right atmosphere in the room. 

18.30. What you do as a doula is more about how you are rather than what you do.

19.30 Getting your needs met and being a Good Enough Parent

26.28 But a doula is not for me. Who is the type of person that benefits from doula care? 

27.00  Part of Lorna's vision for the future includes more honesty and transparency of the real challenges of parenting when there is so much fakery on line.

29.00 What is confidence? 

33.00 Starting off on the back foot.  How asserting yourself can be even tougher for WOC when you may face people.s assumptions of you.  How to deal with prejudice: Once you've exhausted questions and discussions  Lorna remind women they do have the choice to change caregivers 

Sack them off!

40.00T What we need is nothing short of a birthing revolution.  We need those who are  observing these things to be confident to call it out.

 Drop perfection  and just be good enough

Rebecca is the author of two books:

Rebecca Schiller's Bio

Time Stamps:

We start with how in a short space of time Rebecca went from a dream job with American Human Rights NGO to  becoming a Doula and co-founding a charity working with human rights in childbirth after the birth of her first child threw her into a completely new world. 

3.20   Consent and the long term larger impacts of subjects that may seem of minimal importance in larger conversations such as a healthy baby is all that matters. Plus the mismatch that exists between women's rights ( in UK) and the idea of consent and equality and the reality on the ground.

 14.30   A summary of the main rights and knowing that you should have everything explained to you in a way that's relevant to you and that you can understand.  Know that you can for whatever, reason irrational or rational or for no reason at all decline anything that is offered to you without undue pressure or coercion. 

17.39  Being lucky in her first pregnancy when she did not know her rights or the system. For example was under the clock for induction after my waters broke and would have had the induction because she didn't know she could refuse, but labour started just in time. 

21.00  Looking at what leads to birth trauma- and what protects you from feeling traumatised no matter what happens in your birth. Particularly being listened to, aware of what is going on and having some level of control over the process. 

26.30 The special patriarchal trick that is a red herring for women and birth workers: To debate which kind of birth is best and put our energies against each other instead or joining together.

3030  Defining positive birth so that positive and medicalised are not in opposition  to each other particularly as  currently most women do have some kind of intervention and are in hospital.  Her No Guilt Pregnancy guide helps you to consider what you need that transcends place of birth and can be achieved no matter what kind of birth you have.

32.20 Elective c-sections are one of biggest area of her work in human rights with some of the most distressing stories.  The hard no in response to the request creates distrust, anxiety  and fear. Encouraging kindness and support instead of the brutality of the system

40.43 How both of Rebecca's children surprised her with their births and what she learnt about herself in the process.

46.30  The importance of investing in support as you can never prepare for the surprises but can be supported through the unexpected.

Reframing language so that on a subtle level a woman's body belongs to her not to the establishment.  My house my rules. Why home birth is a great choice for people-pleasers and rule -followers.

1hr09  The woman is always the greatest expert in the room and her birth.

Remember  You Matter

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Charlotte's Bio 

( Scroll for time stamps to video below)

She lives with her husband and three boisterous boys who have been her guides companions and teachers on her journey to confidence.  She loves to relax in nature especially wild camping in wilderness areas and at home she loves to potter in her garden sanctuary.

Brave! Crazy! Highly irresponsible! Controversial!

These were the themes of the many responses posted when I published my son’s birth story  15 years ago on a UK mums forum.

So, what was so inflammatory about his birth, my first child, what compelled me to share it, and why would anybody birth their baby in this way?

It was a warm, sunny August morning, even in the far north of England. I had been planning my birth for months- if not years- discovering what positive birth was, refusing anything that let my mind wonder into the “what if’s” and believing in the birth wisdom that had been passed down by the women in my own family.

But now, my baby was 10 long days “late”, even later by my calculations, and I was hot, itchy and fed up.

I woke up to a strange feeling, I couldn’t quite explain. There was excitement, mixed with adrenaline and some “braxton hicks” type contractions going on. I ran myself a bath, added a couple of drops of clary sage and breathed in the strong, energy boosting scent. Just as I did so, a pain seared through my uterus, like being stabbed with a huge knife! I felt the adrenaline rush and my heart start pumping hard as the beginnings of panic set in. No, Rachel! I settled myself. If that was labour I’d have to relax to handle it, and anyway nothing else was happening, perhaps it was a muscle spasm or trapped wind…

So with that I put on my hypnobirthing relaxations there in the bathroom, and breathed. After a while I got out of the bath. I felt emotional, and irritable. I went for a walk around our tiny flat. Anger, frustration and irritation flooded my brain as I stomped around. I still don’t know why! I was feeling contractions that I was all too used to after the trillions of braxton hicks my body had prepared me with. I stamped, marched, sat on the toilet and wondered when ”proper labour” would start. All the movement made me hot, and suddenly I had the urge to fill up the sink with cold water and dip my face in it.

By now it was about 8.30 am. It took a moment to recognise the wet face and wild hair in the mirror above the sink were mine. I sat on the toilet again and heard a growl emerge from somewhere deep within my soul. What was my body doing now? I wasn’t in agony, I didn’t need help, so a quick checklist of my rational brain confirmed that this must be very early stages, if anything. 

At some point during the past 2 hours, my then husband had phoned the labour ward to say that he thought labour might be starting. The home birth kit (a huge suitcase full of terrifying objects from the hospital) was already in place in the hallway, and daddy had laid out a couple of plastic shower curtains to protect the cream carpet in the rented flat from any birth related mess. We were ready… baby was just coming gently, taking his time. More growls and then a sudden urge to get off the toilet…

Seconds later, I remember squatting down and watching in amazement as my son’s head was born, turning to face my left thigh, almost frozen in time, waiting for the next surge. His hair was red. I remember laughing! There was no pain. Instinctively I dropped to the ground on my hands and knees. Labour ward was on the phone, but we still had a phone with one of those curly wires, and as daddy dropped it, the receiver bounced into the other room. “The cord” I heard myself say, “loop it off his neck”. Now from my hands and knees position I had no idea my son’s cord was around his neck, but something enabled me to know and as his dad looped the cord loosely over his neck, our son was born straight into his hands. 

I turned around to see my baby, startle like a star fish, on the blue towel we had ready to receive him on. He did a huge sneeze, and then his first poo! “Give me the baby” I said and held out my arms to reach for my meconium stained, red haired, loudly wailing, beautiful, perfect son. And there we sat, on the bathroom floor, staring in total amazement at this brand new human.

Though I had made up my mind to free birth my baby (that is to birth without any medical assistance or practitioner present which is a fully legal option in the UK) I just could not, in my wildest dreams, have imagined how peaceful, healing, and yet intensely powerful the experience could be. Until…

  A midwife was banging on the door and bustled into the flat bringing with her disbelief and anger at what she saw.  “How did this happen?” she demanded to know “oh, and congratulations”. She asked a load of questions, cut the cord (it was thin and white) swaddled the baby, and passed him to daddy.  Then she pushed me to the floor and yanked on the cord in attempt to pull out his placenta.  Luckily it came away easily, then I was whisked into the bath, baby was kept in the other room where another midwife had come, and I was scrubbed fiercely by the first midwife.  Every second without my baby seemed like an eternity even though he was only in the next room. Strangers rummaged through my drawers and dressed him in the most mismatched outfit they could find, completely disregarding the little yellow suit with Simba on it, laid out and ready for the baby. The midwife was rough and rude, making derogatory comments when I refused her offer of stitches… the birth might have been straight forward but a world of pain was engulfing me by that point. All I wanted was to be snuggled in my bed with my baby, and something to eat would have been amazing too!

Once the fuss was over, and I lay cuddled with my son I took a moment to reflect on what had happened. I couldn’t believe how fast everything had happened and how even though I had believed birth could be this way… I also couldn’t believe it.

My longing for a simple, physiological birth had come about primarily from an intense fear of what I perceived labour and childbirth to be. That fear had led me on a quest for truth, to find out how women had ever survived such a terrible ordeal, whether all births more than 100 years ago really did result in mothers dying from the pain- as everyone seemed to say!

 I secretly wondered: would triggers from my own past allow me to go through such an intimate event in front of strangers without warranting a panic attack the scale of which would have never been seen on a labour ward before and would have ended in my being sedated by general anaesthesia! Or by me, escaping the hospital setting, all gowned up, being chased by registrars wielding needles full of sedatives behind me!! The way the midwife behaved towards me after the birth further convinced me that could have actually been the case, had I gone into hospital!

Now, I’m not naive, and I had carefully kept my birth plans from anyone who knew me, so as not to be discouraged, or pressured into doing something that I didn’t feel comfortable with.  Even after the birth, I was unable to share my experience with other mums for fear of causing upset.  I expected an uproar when I decided to share my story on a mainstream forum a few months later, and I was not wrong.

 Parents were outraged, and were suggesting that I was irresponsible with my baby’s life! A few used words like “brave” to describe what I had done and yet, I didn’t feel I had been brave at all. In fact in my mind, the idea of entering a hospital to have my child delivered by masked strangers would have required a type of bravery I imagine soldiers have to muster when being tortured in enemy prisons. If, at any point during my labour I had feared for my baby’s life or mine, I would have had to dig deep to find courage like that, and would, of course have handed over our care.

I chose to share my story because I believed there were women out there who felt like me. Women who were told that in hospital we would have no choice but to undergo examinations and monitoring that complied with the policy of the area.  That our cervixes would be measured and our bodies expected to birth within a time frame that correlated to that measurement.  That we’d be monitored on our backs, and if that caused us pain, we’d be quietened with medicines that took away our dignity and our ability to make decisions.

I chose to share my story because I believed there were women out there who needed to hear that they too, could birth their babies gently, in peace, fully conscious in whatever position they needed.

Controversial though my story may be, I believe it is still as true and relevant today as it was in those days. Women have a right to know what our bodies are truly capable of.

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

For me ignoring my intuition cost me my computer- my lifeline to my business destroyed in an instant of madness.

For others it is the confident birth experience they dream of and have been planning for months.

How many times have you heard someone say, "I knew. I just knew somewhere inside that something wasn’t right." or "I knew I just knew somehow that it would be ok."

If I had a penny for every time I hear from mothers who intuitively knew before the doctors what was going on with their baby, growing inside their own body, I would be rich. Sadly, many times the story continues with the mother not being believed, leading her to question and doubt her own feelings and sometimes ultimately go along with what she is being recommended against her instincts.

What is upsetting is when the woman feels she has no voice and no confidence to speak up through fear of ridicule, dismissal (not unfortunately an irrational fear at all but that’s for another post) and not trusting her feelings over the other person’s perceived expertise.

Often if it comes to something for the baby’s safety you will persevere, even when you have to push back against deaf ears and eye-rolls. Even if it’s a fight and you hate conflict and normally shy away from all arguments. Because when you know, you know and this is your baby’s life at stake.

But it shouldn’t be so hard and such a fight.  Sometimes, and especially if we know the baby is ok and its our own comfort or dreams that are at stake, we don’t have that confidence to go up against someone who is holding all the perceived authority and information. We downplay our intuition and play it off against our rational logic that says, 'Oh it will be ok, the doctor must know best.'  Or we keep quiet and play along knowing in our hearts that the concern is unnecessary because all is well but not wanting to rock the boat too much.  We end up compromising on what we truly want because it is too scary to go against the flow of the establishment or our friends and family’s beliefs. You diminish your pain and disappointment, rationalising it away with, "at least he is here safe and sound." A sentence that tends to get universal approval from all around as it puts a soft blanket over the uncomfortable feelings and patterns that for another day you will not have to face.  It may make you feel better but doesn’t lift the unacknowledged pain in your inner world where all the programming happens. Where your subconscious reality is running the show. You can’t fool your inner world, just shut it down and numb it out temporarily.

What we can know through intuition is incredible.

Here’s an example from a friend of mine:

In this case my friend stayed strong and true to her intuition despite the pressure to be induced both times.  She took action based on her inner knowing. Her conviction and strength meant that her babies came when they were ready and for her second helped her daughter get into a better position for a smooth easy birth.

It is not just what we can know, it is when. There is a recent study conducted on premature infants in Nepal that was looking at benefits of kangaroo care versus their standard care.  A point that came out of this research was that mothers who were carrying their baby with monitors attached at the same time, often knew something was wrong with their baby before the machines did.  They knew before there was anything to measure scientifically.  This is contrary to the common tendency to trust the machines blindly without taking into account the mothers intuition and feelings. Just to be clear I am not saying the machines are always unnecessary or wrong just pointing out a reliance on something that cannot see the whole picture and can only measure what is showing up to be measured. Machines have a certain level of sensitivity and are programmed to measure clearly defined signals. As humans we assess and measure far more and subtle signals and this skill is relatively little understood or trusted.

And the truth is we know. When we tune in we always know.  When we practice and learn to trust this as its own science we can use our instincts as a guide to what steps to take. Whether that be in birth planning and which kind of birth is right for us, or when to transfer, or to ask for checks if something feels wrong, we will get the guidance we need.

The constant overriding our intuition with rational thoughts and downplaying the important role it plays and I would go as far to say the science of intuition makes me scream with frustration. Even and especially when I catch myself doing it still.

 Ignoring that little voice inside is how I come to be writing on a new computer. Ok so having a new computer is super fun, and the old one needed replacing. But having to replace it because I found it swimming in half a pint of water that my two year old had gleefully poured over it and then pointed it out to me -‘look, water mummy,’  is not the way I would have gone about it!

And I knew better.  I knew when I saw him come into the room with a bottle of water that I should take it off him and put it high up and far away. But did I?

No. I didn’t. Surveying the ruins of my computer sadly I checked in with myself with what had been going on inside that caused me to ignore that clear but quiet voice. Firstly I was rushing around trying to juggle too many balls  , work and prepare for the school run at the same time. Point one SLOW DOWN. We all need to hear this. Slow down, take some deep breaths, and then continue mindfully with what you are doing one thing at a time.  

Secondly,  also overrode the wisdom automatically with sneaky fast thoughts that got under my radar and passed through before I noticed partly because I was rushing around.. What i discovered when I slowed it down and unpicked what was going on was interesting. The crazy stories that don’t add up – like 'oh I’m so cool and an experienced mother and I can catch him before he does that and in the nick of time then I will look so good and impress everyone at how good I am.' Seriously.  I see this as some of the crazy ways we internalise the archetype of the good mother which gets really warped when it comes into play with low self esteem issues or similar wounds that so many of us carry,

This is why inner work and exploring what is going on is always worth it. It can be as simple as stopping when you notice you arguing with your intuition , checking in with your immediate resistant thoughts and asking asking if they are true. Often they are so ridiculous you can drop them just like that.

 Other times you may need to take out your tool box and do some deeper enquiry and clearing work.  There’s always in my experience some kind of version of a wounded part acting out whenever something like this happens where there is a clear intuitive hit or guidance then you don’t follow it. When you check in with what is going on at a deeper level you have an opportunity to clear out the saboteurs, to  heal the wounds. This leads to the freedom and confidence that will allow you to heed that voice and act on it.

In the words of my friend:

 You do know. I really want you to hear that. You know, and your concerns always matter. Your intuition matters and you have the right to be heard.

There is one more step to this- Practice. You will have heard the phrase practice makes perfect right?  It’s true of course. Practice builds your intuition muscle.  Practice on smaller things, have some fun and then when the chips are down you will have built a new habit that will serve you well as you come to stand by the birth you want.

Let’s give it a go right now. You may place your hand on your heart or your womb and intentionally connect to the wisdom there. We are so used to going to our brain and mind for information. In some cases this is a perfect place. Finding our way for example, remembering the shopping. But when it comes to making decisions, we always make them from an emotional basis in the end.

So, place your hand over your heart or womb and ask a question. Wait to hear what answer you get. It may be in pictures or feelings, it may be in words or just that inner knowing. Notice how it shows for you as this is your inner language you are learning. This is how your body talks to you. It is different for everyone.

Intuition and the role it plays in preparing for your birth  is just one of the subjects we are talking about in the Free Online Birth Confidence Summit that is running for 30 days from 1^st of November.  

Note: You can now listen to the interviews from this Summit here

( Photo credit Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash)

An experienced midwife who has attended about 700 births, Linda tells how her heart is filled by the process of educating and empowering women to own their birth experience.   She shares her wisdom and tips in her friendlly and passionate style, including the benefits of pregnancy massage and caesarean scar massage.

Notes:

Linda's Road Map.  Introducing Linda and explaining why birth planning and making a 'birth proposal is so important.

3.55 Do you ask more questions buying a new kitchen than you do preparing for birth? Linda talks about the changes over years to a more medicalised system and the need to educate and empower women for different scenarios

5.33 Your body births your baby when its ready. Loving the confidence when she witnesses women who are able to say no and push back to get what they want in birth. 

6.50 Linda's ethos. Having kindness and empathy with the women she supports. How simple touches and listening being with a woman is transformational and can make a huge difference form overwhelm to a much better stronger place.

8.11 The transformational possibiliites and benefits of massage in pregnancy.   Works well with hypnobirthing and creates connection with the woman and her body. Eases aches and pains. A chance to connect deeper and see what is going on. Loving the way you leave after a massage 'floating on a cloud'

11.25   Massage of the scar after a caesarian section.  Linda has learnt to look deeper than the surface look of the scar and the massage helps the way the scar heals. Be mindful of what is going on under the scar inparticular adhesions like the spiderman web! The massage can release these and even prevent them from laying down

14.45  Freedom rather than restriction in later years when you massage the scar and it is never too late to start if this is new to you.

15.46. More than just a one off treat and how much you as the woman matters at the centre of this birth. Linda shares how she sees this particularly in women who have been focused on their career and leave the preparation until very late or until they have finishes work when it would be much more beneficial to do gently and regularly throughout pregnancy. Linda suggests putting the birth more centrally in your life and not leaving it too late. Take time to be prepared.

18.23   Paradigm shift of putting you at the centre of your experience in all areas of your life and how much you need to do this during pregnancy. 

19.38   Being moved to tears with the awe of a recent birth. Particularly inspiring as she journeyed from choosing a casearean to a water birth at 42 weeks having reisited pressure to induce. 

21.28   The amount of unnecesary interference that happens currently is breaking Linda's heart and watching women be coerced into certain procedures and sometimes separated from their partners and watching it escalate to a caesarean. Linda is on a mission to educate women to know their rights and ask questions.

23.10   The mind body continuum.  Get your mind into the right place, a place of calm and your body will follow.  Keep your adrenalin low and your oxytocin high then your experience will be so much better

After being told at previous births ‘you should have had a homebirth!’ ‘You’re a natural’ We decided to go for it with our 5^th child. I felt a bit deflated when our child was measuring small, as has been the case with our previous children without any problems and I chose to have growth scans between weeks 30 -34. When I got the all clear all anxiety lifted. We were determined to have our homebirth and we were emotionally planning for the best experience of our lives.

T’was the night before Christmas Eve…. I alerted my husband, ‘Braxton hicks’ were beginning to feel a bit real after being on and off for two days. From experience, this was my fifth baby,  I knew that this was baby’s way of prepping my body, letting us know they are coming soon.  I knew it would be quick once it got going!

But back to the birth!  On Boxing Day I began to slow down, eat and talk less. My midwife was to come and visit but I put her off till the following day as I felt fine. I wanted us to get into a place of trust for each other and the natural happenings about to take place. I began visualising techniques to help relax my muscles. My surges were becoming more intense on the morning of the 27th. During a check up with my midwife;

‘Erm Becky, I think my waters have gone!’

Becky was still with us, she stayed for another hour or two in case things suddenly sped up.

I ran a bath, lit candles and soaked in it for hours. Topping up the water, eating dinner whilst watching Peter Kay live! Bliss! Always good to watch comedy when in labour. Relaxed, well fed and surges became more regular from around 6pm. I stayed in the bath so that I did not get the urge to start taking care of the children. My husband and our eldest daughter (16 at the time) had it all in hand. We had a back up plan in case for any reason We were admitted. However we didn’t pay much attention to it and focused on the plan we wanted

The children were extra hyper before they went to bed, I think they subconsciously knew the baby was coming very soon. They finally fell asleep at 10pm. That’s when it began to get intense. My body relaxed even more as the children fell asleep. I wasn’t worried about them I just think as parents there’s always a feeling of relief when the children fall asleep. I don’t take gas, air or drugs to assist. I drink gallons of water and it works everytime. The water fills my bladder and when I relieve myself the baby comes further down the birth canal, It works!

My husband played music, set up a video camera for some clips. He gave me the best body rub with warm coconut oil. He rubbed me down, in line with gravity. I was in my zone.

The snow was still quite high so we knew we had to give midwives time to travel. They called every so often anyway to see how we were doing. At 11pm I asked Mark to call the midwife on duty as she lived about 40 minutes away, 1 hour in the snow. Although she was on her way I felt so relaxed and things were happening fast. I started to crouch, I was quiet, this always means baby is coming. I just breath, hardly any noise. I was in my zone, connecting with my baby. Everytime I had a surge I would say ‘well done baby’ I programmed my mind to understand that the intensity meant the baby was closer to coming out. I visualised waterfalls, oceans and anything that took my mind to symbolise the process of delivery through gravity. I was closer to holding our 5th child, that thought felt amazing.

An hour passed so quickly. I heard the midwife parking up outside, our window was wide open, the heater was on in our room and I was upstairs. I wanted to be near our bed. What a great choice! Dimmed lights, soft classical music and water. It was 12 am on the 28/12 our baby’s due date.

I came out of silence and asked my husband ‘are you ready love? The baby is coming out now.’

He calmly said ‘yes I’m ready love’

The midwife came in and Mark helped her with her stuff, lots of stuff! I thought are you moving in Hun?

The midwife put her bags down and began to look at my notes, requested to check me for dialation and baby’s heart etc. My husband quite calmly said ‘it’s too late for all of that, she’s ready now and you do know I’m delivering?’ ‘No I didn’t know, wasn’t mentioned in the hand over!’ The midwife then checked our birth plan...She was fine. I think she knew we were set and she gracefully stood back. The midwife was with us for all of 5 minutes. Baby’s head was born safely, followed by the rest of its cute little body. Mark carefully checked for the cord and supported Nile whilst he entered the world. The midwife just said ‘wow!’ So calm, so focused. We did it!!

‘It’s a boy, we have another boy love.’ Like the others he was so cute. My husband delivered then, passed him straight to me. I held him on my warm chest and his cute cry sealed what had been an ideal birth. We sat on our bedroom floor for roughly an hour. Skin to skin, fed and latched straight away. My Placenta was born within good time too. We waited until the blood had drained from the cord before we allowed the clamp and cut by my husband of course. The midwife checked for any tears and again there were none. Skin to skin for a while longer before the weight was done. By this time the second midwife arrived and was so happy to be a part of our relaxed homebirth. She waited patiently to weigh our son whilst they filled out their notes. She offered to take care of us, tea and toast which was nice.

Nile was so punctual, he arrived 15 minutes into his due date. Weighing 7lb 14oz! Our heaviest of the 5, way above what was predicted...Again! Mark had delivered his Son,  as planned. When I asked him how he felt he said ‘I delivered my son, I can do anything!’

I felt so proud of us both, we finally got our home birth.

If you have the option we would highly recommend it.

Simone is a professional housewife and homeschool coordinator and lives with her husband Mark and 5 children ranging from 18 years to 18 months. They are a plant based Vegan family on a journey to become more environmentally conscious.  Simone believes in the power of direct action and enjoys connecting with her local community as she and her family litter pick with love. She loves music, the outdoors and being creative and loves to implement innovative new ideas together with her family.
You can find her on her family You Tube channel Thankfully True here. and instagram here.
Mark Roberts, is a professional photographer who took the beautiful photographs of Simone in labour. You can find his website here and follow him on instagram here

If you liked this story you may enjoy Zoe's heartwarming Vbac story of giving birth to Seren here.

The Positive Birth movement is a global grass roots network of free to attend antenatal groups that aim to connect pregnant women together to encourage each other and share stories, expertise and  positivity about childbirth positivity about childbirth.  The organisation aims to challenge the epidemic of negativity and fear that surrounds modern birth, and help change birth for the better. In this interview, Kat and Florence from Worcestershire Doulas talk about the Positive Birth Movement and why they love to run groups to encourage all women to plan for a positive birth experience and why this is so important and effective.

Notes:

Find your local Positive Birth Movement Group here  and information about the North Birmingham Group here

0- 4 Introducing Kat and Florence and why they are so passionate about Birth and how they became birthworkers.  For Florence her first experience as a 'Doula' was at 6 years old! and it grew from there. Talking about the importance of women's voice and making sure women know their rights.

4.15 Introducing the Positive Birth Movement- putting a positive slant on birth and moving away from the common negative ways it is portrayed. That this positivity is possible for all kinds of birth experience.  The groups are for all women and not run by experts and this is beautiful as everyone has a voice and can ask questions and share their knowledge and experiences.

8.24 The enormous amount of goodwill and passion by the volunteers who run the groups who all want women to find their voice in birth and experience  a positive experience.

9 What is the difference between the Positive Birth Movement Groups and standard antenatal classes: No formal structure and content to get through, rather open discussions following a theme.  Following what the group needs with no agenda and a lot of flexibility.

12.14  The importance of no judgment in the groups , all are welcome. There are many places for women to meet up but these groups are very specific not just coffee mornings and supportive of all experiences.

14.20 In the groups you learn that noone fails at birth.  You can hear different perspectives that help you find postivty in your situation and find courage and feel supported.

16.23  Witnessing the transformation and seeing women come back into the groups to share their stories and how lovely that is for everyone. It is also great to have that space to share the story and for women who have questions who can ask anything without feeling stupid. They feel like the group has their back and is with them throughout their journey like cheerleaders.

17.50 Moving from passivity to empowered  and active in what happens to you. Sometimes this shows in even subtle ways like body language, how a woman sits or walks in the room.

19.50  Learning how to be empowered and stand your ground and other ways to make your positive birth happen.  Think about who is in the room with you and where you are getting your information from as you prepare. Invest in yourself and remember to inlude the postnatal period in your planning.  Fill in for the missing village! Create support around you at all stages.

25.12  Getting away from the pressure of trying to be perfect. There is no one perfect way and it comes back to empowerment again and finding what works for you.

25.52  Loving how powerful women are in birth and seeing the huge transformative process no matter how it happens and Kat speaks of how she will never grow tired of it. Florence agrees and how amazing our bodies are and the mechanics of how it works. She thinks we put obstacles in our way when nature and instinct is so amazing and powerful.

28.20  Feeling  heartbroken hearing the same stories over and over about how I wasn't allowed and the disempowering lanuguage that is used with women. Feeling frustrated after ten and more years that the same scnearios where the system is not supporting women as it should. Women should be at the centre and not made to feel doubting or themselves and so fearful ( ​If this is you have a read of this post which has practical tips on how to stand your ground and get the birth you want.
Would love to see the medical expertise used appropriately at same time as trusting in birth and women's bodies.

Focusing on numbers and measurements when that time could be spent on preparing emotionally and physicall on what a healthy pregnancy looks like and what will happen when the baby comes. So the system does not allow for these parts and they can be missed.   Infantilising of women is still happening - Thiink of Monty Python clip!

32 What really matters- it is more than 'just' a healthy baby. Women remember every birth is different and there is noone more expert than you. Parenting also different every time.  Remember  you are enough and you are going to do it no matter what and that is also enough

BirthEssence was talking to Worcestershire Doulas who comprise of Kat Galbraith and Florence Etienne-Jackson. They also have co founded the Birmingham South Positive Birth group.