This New Year is galloping ahead already. First week of school nearly gone, and I am still setting intentions for the year ahead. It promises to be an interesting year and possibly a revolutionary transformative year for many. One in which I feel the call to really break free of any lingering conditioning that keeps me small or silent.
I’m on the path, I have no idea where it is leading but I’m taking steps and the guidance and insights are already nudging me along. Like Joel Youngs mini traning series - Secrets To Rocking Your 2020 Intentions (So They Actually Have An Impact & Get You What You Want)on his Be a brilliant human podcast, In the first part of the 4 part training Joel shares a story of him as a young boy lighting dry grass with a magnifying glass to illustrate how setting and manifesting intentions works. In part two the theme is on acknowledging the wholeness of you to achieve your unique focus and he revisits fire story again. As I listened for the second time I was struck with my own memory of me at a similar age trying to set paper alight.
My story is slightly different as I stopped before I succeeded.
As I became that girl again for a few moments and felt into why she stopped and what she had really wanted I saw how this was an ongoing pattern that had repeated subtly throughout my life and was impacting my success in many areas.
The young girl Charlotte was totally fascinated and wanted to make a proper fire. But she got scared as the paper turned black and the smoke started to rise. She hurriedly stopped, with a furtive glance over her shoulder to check if anyone was watching. She was scared of getting in trouble. She could see all too clearly the scene if she was discovered and the telling off that would follow. Secretly, she wanting to be more wild than this. She had fantasies of being a wild bush woman. But she was too scared of starting something that she couldn’t control and got too big for her and then she really would be in trouble.
No matter the burning inferno scenario was so unlikely in England on a green grassy lawn, she stopped, but reluctantly, regretfully. It was a bind being such a good girl sometimes.
As I zoomed back out to the present day I was painfully aware of all the times in my life I have stopped short before putting the full idea or dream into action. Keeping small and hidden and then feeling bad inside and settling for the hit approval gave me instead of fulfilment.
The good news is that this is no longer my story. I has lingered way too long and yet it’s definitely on it’s way out. Last year I found myself stepping up in new ways that were not small and hidden. I found myself running a Birth Summit on Finding your Confidence to birth the way you want and not the way you are settling for. This is exactly the learning that I have been putting into practice in my own life in the way that we teach what we are ourselves learning. Despite any inner doubter that would question my own authority as a relative unknown birthworker I contacted those whose message I loved and respected and overwhelmingly they said yes with enthusiasm and the Summit was created with 27 interviews and 5 classes over the month of November last year. You can now catch up here if you missed it. There is such a wealth of information from some amazing women and I highly recommend you watching if you feel the pull and have a habit of holding back on the fullness of your dreams through fear.
Back to the fire story. I zoomed back down to me as a young girl then carried backwards every younger. I see myself hesitant, shy, living in my secret inner world where I am more confident and outgoing. I trace back further. To myself as a baby being born.
I am familiar with my experience of being born even though I have no conscious memory in ordinary waking daily life. From time spent healing the way I was born. I notice the pattern was there in my energy field and got activated and concretised during birth.
As I was in the process of being born, I felt overwhelmed. Life was too big, loud and different. I was not sure I was ready and I hesitated. But things were taken out of my control and I was helped out by the doctor. I felt small, helpless and daunted. I felt that I would have to be more secretive and hide what I wanted. Not the best way to get what you want I think now.
I continue backwards out of the womb and reconnect to a different energy. A larger essence that is also me. I come back in. Now it is different. Now I feel joy. I am delighted by life even in its bigness and my relative smallness. I feel love for the small me. I see and experience the same birth story as before but I can also hold in my field the delight of life and it changes everything. My DNA is different. My feelings towards myself and my capabilities are transformed. I carry this expanded awareness forwards through my life. I feel my own wholeness that is present even as life’s challenges hit me. I can tap into the delight of being alive and I am not holding back anymore. This awareness changes the programming in my cells and it opens up the possibilities in my life right here and now.
This is the energy I am starting 2020 with. And it is this kind of open field freedom energy possibility that I want you to start 2020 with too. Our planet and our children certainly need us to step up into the wholeness of our being and take action right now.
To support you in this I am offering my BirthBlueprint Reading and Healing Sessions at a super introductory offer price. . These sessions look at the map of your essential wholeness that is uniquely you revealed by your own birth story. They comprise an intuitive reading based on the facts of your birth and a healing session that will address the wounds and unhelpful programming you may have suffered during birth.
This is amazing transformative work. Healing your own birth experience is often the missing link for you when you are pregnant. If you are scared, you don’t really know why and hypnobirthing is not touching the sides then healing your birth story may be the missing link you are searching for. This work is also the key to reconnecting to your inner wholeness and passion for life that will fire you up to make a difference in 2020. Now is the time to step up bold and brave and put into action all those secret dreams you have been holding back on.
If this sounds interesting to you drop me a message at charlotte@birthessence.co.uk or comment below and I will send you all the details.
In the mean time Happy New Year and here’s to an amazing revolutionary 2020.
Photo by Saffu on Unsplash
Charlotte Kanyi
