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First day at school!

That strange day after a seemingly never-ending summer when the internet is flooded with pictures of children in bright coloured jumpers and blazers outside their front door squinting at the camera with varying degrees of collaboration and enthusiasm.

Parents sighing a sigh of relief, as they wrestle with a multitude of emotions from relief and pride, to sadness or worry...

I've been through many of these 'firsts'.  And this year's first day was also my middle son's first ever day at his secondary school. It was a much smoother transition than I had expected.

Although there was the one moment when he innocently asked – who’s picking me up and I stared at him blankly as I realised I had only considered getting him there…All was well with his elder brother stepping into pick him up and he is enjoying the new school.

But- I had been worried about him. It’s a big deal,  going to a new place, with new people and getting there and back independently ( which he did after the first day)  One he seemed to sail through thankfully.

Because that is not always the case.  I remember different transitions involving kicking and screaming  and protests.   And I have watched many a tearful clinging child at the school gates over the years.  

My heart always goes out to them. I remember my own shyness and hidden fears at the beginning  of my secondary school journey. I remember being daunted at primary school too.  It’s a transition we all went through and we watch our children go through, often with our heart in our mouths.   And I’m curious about those who struggle more than others.  

What is going on under the surface that means that some sail into a new environment like its an exciting adventure without a care in the world, whilst others are terrified out of their minds? Is it all down to different character traits and what forms those anyway?

I don't know all my answers but what I do know is that in my private work , the first day at school is one of the most common memories that comes up in sessions. Much to their surprise  if they have come to me to work on birth trauma.   Many come to me to work what they know of how they were born because they know there was a traumatic story there and they feel instinctively that it is still holding them back. But many others come to me because they want a new home, a career change ( often to starting their own business based on something they are passionate about) or are searching for their life partner or soul mate.  They feel blocked like it’s never going to happen for them and more often than not there are unexpected levels of fear under a general anxiety.

The anxiety, self doubt, frustrations that come up in these situations are usually a perfect mirror for what their child self went through going to school for the first time.  

Where it gets really interesting is after we have helped their inner child with that transition but the child still feels something- usually loneliness, sometimes a lack of safety, or a sense of terror without a clear reason they can point at.  

Almost always in those cases when we trace it back it leads to a new born baby.  

This is one of the first major transitions in life.  Being born we move to a new home, start a new  type of relationship (with our mother ) and embark on a new ‘career’; (being human )

 And if it didn’t go smoothly, if there is unresolved trauma from those super big transitions, it has a habit of repeating and mirroring throughout our lives whenever we meet with a similar transition.

Our lives are full of transitions big and small, Getting out of bed, getting dressed and out of the door in the morning, are all mini transitions.  Bigger ones, such as moving house or moving town, moving jobs, seeking a new relationship, having children and becoming a parent for the first time come along less often but regularly enough.  

Moving through those transitions often presents some level of challenge. Sometimes we rise to it and move smoothly through to the next stage. Sometimes we get stuck. It doens't matter how small that transition is- e.g. getting dressed in the morning. If we are stuck, we are stuck and its not nice or comfortable. We feel the gap between where we are and where we want to be.  We strive to bridge that gap with various strategies and various degrees of success.

Most people never think back to their birth in any of these situations.  We take for granted that we are here and grown up now. We  were born and we survived. These memories exist but as they were set   before our conscious memory developed,  we barely give them a second thought.  

Yet maybe we should.  I have found that when we have difficulty in our transitions today, when we hesitate or hold back for going for the things we truly want and are calling to us, there is often a link back to those first transitions in life.  

It is these links and the blueprint that we developed as we came into this world   that I will be talking about on Saturday 21st September in my free workshop Discover Your Birth Blueprint. I will be revealing the key moments in  your birth that may still be impacting you in your life today and showcasing some of the transformative work I usually only do with private clients and paid group courses that will help you liberate yourself from the embedded patterns you are used to living.

 I look forwards to seeing you there. It's going to be fun.

Photo by Mike Fox on Unsplash

Over the Easter holidays in 2024 we made our first family trip to the Gambia in ten years.

Although they are half Gambian, my two younger sons had never been and for my youngest it was also his first plane trip. Going to the Gambia was also my first plane trip in 10 years. A lot has changed. Even in The Gambia it is all digitised, fingerprints and photographs taken both on the way in and out.

Despite the changes. when the plane landed in The Gambia and I set foot on the sandy runway in the warm evening, it felt like coming home.

Two weeks later when the plane landed back in the UK and I walked off into the cool rain, it also felt like coming home.

Feeling at home is such a powerful feeling. Settled, everything right, a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Joy on both sides as family members reunite.

Yet for many of us, and for a long time myself too, we struggle to feel fully at home anywhere. Do you recognise that feeling?

For me, for years, there was something missing. A sense of being a mis-fit. Of not belonging., being on the outside.

Sometimes it would feel like life was passing me by. There was always a search, a longing. For a partner, for the right job, the ideal place to live. A search that never quite felt complete no matter the beautiful places I lived in or the wonderful people I shared time with.

The peace was fleeting.

Until I started to heal my experience of being born here. I hadn't made any connection with my struggles to find a life partner, a place to live and settle, to feel truly at home with how I had experienced being born. But it was the missing link, the key I needed to land fully here and live my life the way I wanted.

Everything changed for me when I started to do that.  I am now married with three children and feel at home in the life I have created.  

If this post strikes a chord with you then come join us for my Free Workshop
Discover Your Birth Blueprint Workshop  - 21st September 2024 

As birthday wishes are still coming in several days after my birthday ( thank you everyone – it is so lovely!) I find myself reflecting about celebrating the day of our birth.  It seems we do this without that much thought of what it was actually like as a baby making that transition. Perhaps because we don’t consciously remember it as adults.  But our subconscious self remembers for sure and has encoded what it learnt into our system.   And I wonder if the subconscious memories and learnings are part of what is behind a phenomenon I have noticed.

What I have noticed is that, particularly in Western cultures, people celebrating our birthday often fall into two broad groups.

1. The proud and happy to celebrate group. This group lets everyone know it is their birthday, make time to do something special, perhaps a party and enjoy the attention and party atmosphere.

2. The keep quiet and its just another day group.  This group doesn’t want a fuss, often doesn’t tell anyone it is their birthday hope it all passes by without anybody noticing or finding out.  They may secretly dread their birthday and the pressure to celebrate even if a part of them also longs for the attention.

Of course life is busy as an adult, and people from either group may be too busy to arrange parties and special events. Yet, still.  If like me, you have have tended to fall into the latter camp for much of your life, Why is it so hard to celebrate yourself?

Yes, there may be some other factors including natural shyness and introversion but it is more than that.  Honouring yourself in a ritual is significant.  It can honour where you are at now and how far you have come.  It can be   beautiful, intimate and touching. It can be fun and joyful.  Yet it can also feel completely alien to me and extremely uncomfortable. It can feel cringey, awkward and terrifying.  You might justify or downplay your feelings - I don't have time, it's just another day, birthday parties are for kids...

This makes me wonder.  At the discomfort some people feel when you are the object of attention, when it is time to honour and value yourself.  When I see this pattern occurring, I wonder how you were born.

In the UK over 30% of women found some aspect of giving birth traumatic ¹ – meaning the true figure is likely higher. Many of my clients have not realised the pain they were suffering was due to trauma. They saw trauma only as something that would occur if there had been a life-threatening incident where they nearly died. So they downplayed their suffering. But trauma happens when you experience a stressful or frightening incident where you felt out of control or overwhelmed and unable to cope.  Even if in reality you are not in danger you can still be left with trauma responses.  And whatever your mother goes through, the baby you also goes through, without an adult perspective to reason through afterwards.


If you have unresolved trauma, even if you don’t remember it, why would you want to celebrate the day it happened?

Picture this common scenario for a moment.

You are a baby, all comfortable in the womb, always warm, always fed, sounds are muffled.  Your mother’s heartbeat is a constant steady beat marking time pumping love and nutrients into your body at all times. Then everything changes.  It is time to be born. It is intense.  You feel the contractions pressing your body into new shapes and positions. You are moving towards your new world.

But your mother is scared.  There is noise. Other people are scared and you can sense it.  They are worried about you.  The secret fear is that something could go very wrong and you might die.  You don’t have the kind of identity boundary that an adult has. You don’t know you are separate from everything going on around you.  This is overwhelming.

You emerge. It is bright. It is loud. It is noisy and there are several people staring at you with concern wondering if you are OK.  You are moved through the air. You are terrified.  You are not sure what is going on. You cry.

Everyone celebrates this moment. You are here, you are alive you are well.

You are confused. You need time and quiet to process. You need your mother.

But there is more noise. You are passed around. You are dressed. You are wiped. Then there is silence. You are alone.  

You have never been on your own before and you cannot survive on your own. You are desperate. Where is your mother? Is she alive? Are you? What is this place?

Then she is there. You are held again. You relax.

Time passes.  You grow and you forget.

Only your subconscious self remembers. It holds the pattern of this memory of the world in your cells.

A response that can return with a vengeance when all the attention is on you at a special or important moment.   The buried terror threatens to resurface as a part of you relives that first time everyone was staring at you.   You freeze.  You default to the wounded baby who still resides deep inside. You can go to pieces without understanding why.

For this is an incomplete loop that will seek to complete itself. The pattern will repeat until the loop closes. Until the trauma has been resolved.

I notice with my clients the key moments in their life when this commonly surfaces. Events that mirror the energy of their birth where they react with a greater charge than the situation warrants.  This can occur in any every day situation such as going for a job opportunity, seeking a partner, making friends, trying new hobbies.

Or being comfortable being seen and celebrating your birthday.

As you read, what do you notice about your own relationship to your birthday?  Which part of this post touches you?

The good news is that although you cannot change what happened to you, you can change your relationship to it and your response to the world.  It is liberating to explore your own birth story and reveal the moments of your birth that impacted you.   When you resolve and heal these earliest traumas, when you change how you experience yourself in this world, you are powerful.  You are willing to stand and be seen and bring all of yourself to your life.  You are ready to finally live your life the way you want without hiding away.

It is my genuine hope and dream that you and everyone in the world gets to explore and heal how you were born so that you can get your soul oriented projects off the ground and live the life you feel calling to you. The world needs us all to be all of us.

Come to my free Workshop - Discover Your Birth Blueprint  on 21st September to learn more.

Also coming soon - Next Explore Your Birth Mini Course starts 28th September. Click here for more information.

(1 -  https://www.makebirthbetter.org/press)
Featured photo credit  HONG FENG on Unsplash ">

Is there something in your life you really want to do or be that you have been holding back on?  

You know you want to but you are scared. You have an enormous list of sensible reasons why this may be risky, or why you should wait until you are more ready or know more?
Ultimately though, you know you want to and it’s going to stretch you. Right now, it may feel like too much of a stretch. It is going to take a leap of faith to do it and you are not sure you can.

Ever.

I know I have felt like this a few times in my life, this morning included!  I have been stuck in that place for short and longer periods of time. Many things have helped me through it including the 1 to 1 work I do with people. Today though a story, a memory came to me.

I would like to tell you this story. It is about leaping.

Literal leaping.

When I was in year 7, aged 11, there was an opportunity to go on an outdoor pursuits week with a group of children. 16 boys and 16 girls. Typically, the boys’ spots were oversubscribed whereas only 17 girls put their names down. Me, I leapt at that opportunity. I couldn’t wait to have a go at all these exciting activities and couldn't understand why so few girls volunteered.  However, those odds meant I had a really great chance of being picked.  And I was lucky. I was one of the 16.

There was sea cliff scrambling, blindfold night walking, abseiling, sailing, Lots of fun stuff.

I was shy and quiet. I took part in all the activities and held back on the socialising, listening and watching the other girls in the dorm instead.  I was often last in line for things as I let others go first- though I did always join in and participate.

Until the day came we were invited to jump off a cliff. Literally. I remember our group standing on top of the rock looking at the water below. Was it two or three metres high? Something like that, felt like a hundred.  I waited, watching, expecting some of the louder boys to go.

Nope.

No one moved. No one wanted to go first. There was joking and teasing but no one actually stepped forwards. I began to get impatient. Eventually I volunteered. Going first was unusual for me. But I not only volunteered I surprised everyone and practically ran off the cliff!

Was I scared? a bit. Not much though. Just nervous excited.

Why?

Because I had already taken a leap like that a few years prior.

On holiday with my parents and brother in the Ardeche there was an even higher rock. Me and my brother watched a family of nudists happily throwing themselves off this rock into the river. We went closer. OMG it was high! We went up and watched. We approached the edge. The younger boy ran past us both, yelling gleefully as he threw himself off again into the water far below.

I don’t know how long we waited before getting the courage to have a go. I know my brother went first. I remember being totally terrified. But I couldn’t let all these other people do it and not me. I knew if I walked away from this moment, I would regret it forever and there would not be another moment. Eventually I just closed my eyes and leapt.

I dropped for a very long time.  I wondered where the water had gone. I hit it. I continued down. I was almost panicking. How would I ever get back up again. I began to swim. I was scared ,what if I needed to breathe. It felt like forever in those seconds where I was frantically swimming back to the surface. Then I did it. I surfaced and breathed in air. Phew!

I had survived. I won’t pretend it was a hundred percent enjoyable that first time. It was too much of a stretch. It was a thrill though coming out the other side and I went straight back and did it again.

It was easier that second time.

It became comfortable as each time I survived. I was able to enjoy the sensations of the air and the water a bit more,  the thrill remained as the terror was replaced by joy. I felt a major sense of achievement. It was a big cliff.

So back to the more modest cliff at the outdoor pursuit place.

I made the decision quickly. Although I was nervous, I already knew I could do it. So I did. Running before I chickened out of being the centre of attention by going first. Which was more the issue for me than the actual jumping off a cliff bit.

With this decision, I became the leader of my group. Something very new for me.  I didn’t think I just went for it, surprising and impressing my peers and the teachers and myself. I wasn’t used to being the leader.

It felt good.  Really good and something shifted in the dynamic between me, the shy, quiet girl who could be overlooked and this other version who was willing to leap off cliffs.

So why am I sharing this story?

Well, I took a leap and became the leader, after someone else inspired me and showed me it was possible. It is likely that you have, in your own life, been that inspiration for someone else who wanted to follow in your footsteps.   It is also possible that you are now facing that moment of wanting to leap in your own life, trying to pluck up the courage whilst waiting for some right moment or encouragement.

Perhaps this story is that thing.

Will you allow this story to be the inspiration you need to take the leap you know you want to make?

Photo by BEERTA MAINI on Unsplash

This week I had a fabulous opportunity to be interviewed by friend and mentor, Joel Young, Founder of the NPA Process  and host of the Be a Brilliant Human Podcast and we delved into some great topics surrounding healing your own birth.

It always amazes me how many people have not considered their own birth as a factor in how they choose to birth their children, especially if they have unexplained fears. But it is not just a useful exploration for when you are expecting a child. In this episode I delve into why it matters for all of us, especially now,  and how much our experience us when we were being born may still be impacting us now.

We covered:

It was super fun, I hope you enjoy it.

The pregnancy and birth of Tara is nothing short of a miracle.

At 45 years young and after a few early pregnancy losses along the way, I’d made peace our beautiful nine year old daughter Maya, would be an only child.

So in spring 2020 when I started feeling consistently nauseous I became concerned.

My inner hypochondriac wondered whether I had a serious illness.

I’d recently had a light period- and thought my nausea could be another sign of perimenopause, since my cycle had become irregular lately.

This led me down the rabbit hole of Dr Google, searching ‘does perimenopause make you nauseous?’

As the nausea increased over a few weeks I became more worried and decided to call my GP for some screening tests.

The day I’d intended to make the appointment, on a hunch I bought a pregnancy test.

I’d noticed a few other physical signs that I’d only ever felt with the pregnancy of Maya.

And besides, I rationalised, at least I could rule one thing out before the GP visit.

When I did the test I couldn’t believe it when I saw the two lines.

I instantly did a second test to double check. But it was true- I was pregnant.

What a miracle-surprise!

When I shared the news with Viv he was cautiously excited- three early pregnancy losses can have that effect…

We decided to keep it between the two of us and our midwife Janine O’Brien (Ibirth), for as long as we could.

And each day after that I became grateful for the nausea, knowing it was a good sign.

There were more surprises in store when we went for what we thought was our 12 week scan only to be told we were at least 14 weeks along- the light period I’d thought was the start of perimenopause was an implantation bleed!

Knowing there are no guarantees, we waited until we were 16 weeks along before we started sharing the news.

By this time the nausea had subsided and I was feeling great.

Most people were excited and pleased for us. Some shared their quiet concern about my age.

Others couldn’t hide their shock and fear when I answered their ‘where will you have the baby’ question with ‘at home’.

I was even told a few horror stories of over-40 births gone wrong and why hospital is the only place I should give birth (!).

Because I had enough of my own fears and concerns to overcome, Viv and I decided from then on we’d only inform those we’d be regularly seeing (and who we couldn’t hide the pregnancy from!).

Meanwhile I worked on my mental game- reading, researching, visualising, attending workshops with leaders like Rhea Dempsey, Min Mia and Jane Hardwicke-Collings plus curating our birth support team.

I worked on my physical game by continuing to teach and practice Japanese yoga combined with regular chiropractic and acupuncture sessions.

Feeling fantastic, I was so grateful my body could receive and grow a baby ‘at my age’.

Something I never forgot was how privileged I was to be able to consciously create my support team, which made such a difference to my level of care and self-belief.

I believe all birthing women deserve and should have government funded access to the same support and resources I did, as well as the option to homebirth if they’re healthy, low risk and willing.

It was only in the final month of the pregnancy that I paused my yoga practice- I felt more comfortable walking and I really enjoyed being out in nature.

At 37 weeks our midwife Janine organised a red thread ceremony to welcome in the baby.

Our doula, Kathryn Belle and birth photographer Anna Todd were there as well.

At this ceremony we shared our intentions and fears for the birth.

It was so comforting to hear Janine share she had no fears at all for me- she said she knew I’d put in the work, was physically strong and mentally ready.

I shared my only fear: that I wouldn’t believe in myself.

Then we burnt our fears and celebrated with chai and cake- it was the perfect blessingway- intimate and raw – just as I was hoping for my birth.

And so began the waiting and nesting game.

Ever since I’d learnt at Jane Hardwick-Collings’ The Shamanic Dimensions of Pregnancy workshop that babies are often born on full moons, new moons and in storms, I’d penned into the calendar the Super blood moon of May 26^th as ‘Bubba’s birthday’. I had a strong sense she/he would arrive on this date.

You can imagine my excitement when, on May 25^th at 10.30am, my waters broke.

I’d just arrived at Maya’s sports carnival and had briefly squatted to take some pressure off my back.

Without warning I felt a ‘pop’ sensation and my inner thighs became warm and wet.

I bolted to the bathrooms and also noticed the bloody show.

Discreetly I gave Maya the choice: she could stay at her carnival or come home with me.

I reassured her there were no waves yet so I didn’t think baby would come immediately.

She decided to stay so I evacuated the lively sports ground- grateful for the disguise of my dark coloured leggings and extra jacket around my waist.

On the way home I rang Viv at work but there was no answer.

Then I rang Janine and Kath, who gave me some tips and signs to be on the lookout for.

When I reached home I showered to freshen up, then lay outside in the sun while listening to a hypnobirthing track.

There were still no waves and I wondered whether this time tomorrow I’d have met my baby.

After a few calls and texts I was still unable to reach Viv- I started to worry what would happen if the waves started and I was all alone.

As if sensing my feelings, my cat Rana came and curled up next to my belly, something he never usually does.

It was so comforting to feel him purring and keeping me company- animals are so wise!

After what felt like ages (but was actually only about an hour and a half) Viv called me to let me know he was on his way- he’d left his phone in his bag at work and hadn’t heard my calls.

Finally I could relax and enjoy the sun with my cat cuddles.

When Viv arrived home we ate lunch, then he drove me to my routine acupuncture appointment with Sue Booth booked for 2pm.

Sue took my pulse and said my body was already primed for birthing action.

Almost as soon as the first needle went in I felt a light wave and could sense my baby was getting close.

It was a nurturing, nourishing session and when it ended Sue wished me the best with a knowing smile.

I felt regular, light waves on the drive home – enough to feel excited but not enough to need to drop everything and focus.

Once home I lay down for a nap and when I woke it was just getting dark.

The waves were still regular but not too intense- I put on the TENS machine so I could acclimatise to the different sensations.

Viv, Maya and I ate dinner together, lighting a candle to welcome in our new family member.

I put Maya to bed around 8.30pm, letting her know our doula, Kath would wake her up for the birth (we’d talked about it lots and Maya had said if it was a night labour she wanted to be left to sleep for the labour but woken for the birth)

The waves started to pick up around 9pm, where I needed to pause, move and breathe through them.

I was feeling a bit tired and considered trying to sleep- but I could tell by the waves I’d need to get up and move through each one so instead Viv and I listened to another hypnobirthing track.

After that we went outside and basked in the full moon light, taking a moment to pause and savour the moment- the moon was big, bright and close!

By now it was about 10.30pm and we decided we’d like our doula to come.

We called her and she asked to speak with me- I knew it was to gauge how far into my primal brain I’d gone.

We had a pretty standard conversation so she suggested she hold off coming over for about an hour to give the labour a chance to get established.

We said we’d stay in touch as I settled in to the waves.

I found it helpful being on my knees with Viv squeezing my hips through each surge.

I must have gone into the birthing zone around this time because what happened after that is a bit of a hazy blur in terms of time.

I remember noticing our doula arrive and hearing her say she’d called our midwife and birth photographer and they were on their way.

Meanwhile I stayed mostly on all fours, burying my face into a nest of pillows with each wave as Viv squeezed my hips.

I felt fully present, safe and trusting in my body and baby.

Having Viv by my side with each wave made all the difference.

At one point during a big surge my other cat Zen gently rubbed against me- I felt so held and supported- not only by my cats but by Viv and all my ancestors.

I moved into a phase where I felt very irritated.

Irritated at the discomfort in my body and the ‘slowness’ of the endorphins to kick in; irritated about the rustlings around me (my support team filling the pool); irritated at feeling abandoned when Viv wasn’t with me for one or two waves (I learned afterwards there was a ‘complication’ with the hose for the birthpool and he was desperately trying to help get it filled!); irritated my doula couldn’t read my mind and offer me my labouraid drink and specific essential oils at the precise moment I wanted them;-) (she was also helping with the pool debacle…)

Wise words from my friend and spiritual teacher Yantra came to me: ‘it’s not a choice between irritation or peace. Let the irritation be the doorway to peace’.

Letting the irritation be, I doubled down on my breathing and upped the setting on my TENS, which all seemed to help enormously.

Although I didn’t realise it at the time, I must have been getting close to transition because soon after that Janine gently suggested I get in the birthing pool.

‘Already?’ I thought to myself- remembering our birthing plan was that I’d ‘save up’ getting into the pool until the end and the birth was close.

I felt a combination of surprise we were at pool time, relief everything was still feeling ‘bearable’ and denial my baby would be coming soon. I had no idea was time it was – I learned later it was just after 2am.

I reluctantly removed the TENS machine –my new best friend- and slipped into the bath.

The warm water felt so soothing and warm.

From there it felt like a switch was flicked and things intensified very quickly.

I felt an uncontrollable pushing sensation and the waves started coming on thick and fast.

My breath become shorter and I started vocalising involuntarily.

I longed for the ‘rest and be grateful’ phase I’d read can happen between transition and second phase…

The pushing feeling intensified and felt overwhelming to the point where I cried out ‘help!!’.

While I clung to Viv for dear life, Janine reassured me I’d be meeting my baby soon and Kath suggested sending my breath down to the baby.

Despite the intensity I felt safe, present and connected to my baby.

I asked how she/he would like to be born and sensed it was the position I was in–on my knees, arms around Viv and legs apart.

An extra strong pushing surge rippled through my body- and with a few more breathes the head emerged, soon followed by the body ejecting. It was 2.54am.

I was sure I’d been torn from head to toe (I didn’t tear at all!) but I didn’t care.

I’d birthed my baby!

In a split second Janine whooshed baby and cord out from between my legs and I was holding my baby in my arms.

Words can never do justice to the feeling of holding your baby for the first time but I’ll try; it was a mixture of extreme joy, pride, relief, thankfulness and pure ecstasy all at once.

I held her up and Maya proudly announced she was a girl. A little sister!

After cuddle time in the bath I was helped to the couch where she latched on to my nipple like a seasoned pro and soon after I birthed the placenta.

The soft, jelly feeling of the placenta coming out felt so relieving and soothing.

Maya immediately jumped into her big sister role and was keen to decide on a name- our favourite two girl names were Aurora and Tara.

Kath mentioned some friends of hers had recently named their little girl Aurora and she was being called Rory for short.

We’re not really nickname people so that helped us decide.

Welcome to the world Tara!

We all celebrated with homemade fruit slice and bliss balls.

Soon afterwards the birth team tucked us up in bed and we were ready for our moon cycle birth bubble and gentle start as a family of four.

Karenna's Bio

Kemi is passionate about physiological birth and works tirelessly to support pregnant women and people to achieve the birth they want minus the medicalisation. Here we talk about how important this is and the magic of believing in and planning for a truly physiological birth.

Kemi's Bio

Time Stamps:

Coming Soon...

Sapna shares how Homeopathic remedies can harness the incredible healing power of our bodies for wellness at all stages of our journey to motherhood, including treating challenging conditions in pregnancy such as PGP ( pelvic girdle pain).

Sapna's Bio:

You can find Sapna at her website, The Wild Homeopath where you can download a free guide to homeopathy in pregnancy to get you started. Connect with her on instagram and facebook

Time Stamps:

2.20 What is homeopathy? A holistic treatment that looks for the root cause. Discussing the mindset shift that the body has its own intelligence and is seeking homeostasis.

7.54 A personal example from Sapna’s third pregnancy of homeopathy in action supporting emotional release and balance after the common situation of pressure to induce.

11.00 Intergenerational healing of a gentle birth.

13.05 Looking at how we have moved away from trusting birth and a pathway to getting our power back.

21.20 When to start preparing for birth and how training your mindset for healing that will follow through in pregnancy and as a mother.

27.15 Building up a picture of your condition and matching it to the remedy.

39.00 Go to remedy tips for common conditions – including Aesculus for Pelvic girdle pain remedies.

The link between nausea and the spleen and looking to the root cause of the nausea to treat it as well as the vomiting itself.

50.00 Treating in labour – The power of quiet observation, treating exhaustion and avoiding transfers in home birth.

53.00 We can learn from the children who often pick their own remedy instinctively.

Stop the Train, I want to get off!

Anyone else been feeling like this of late, or any time over the last year really?

I’ve had this feeling a number of times Usually a final small thing, the proverbial straw that broke the camels back comes along and breaks me. It seems there is just too much change, too fast and each time I think things are calming down something else happens.

This year has been tough on so many and perhaps all of us in one way or another. For some it is complete overwhelm, home schooling children whilst working from home and perhaps with a precarious or reduced family income, whilst recovering from Covid, for others it is total isolation and removal of all their usual support system. For many of us it has been both simultaneously.

Alongside coping with our various personal situations we are all feeling the collective grief, fear and emotional states. There is so much grief over the loss of all we thought certain and steady, grief for lost loved ones and lost loved activities, fear of death and illness and of more changes and an uncertain future.  There are concerns over moves to a more authoritarian state, polarised opinions and emotions running high. The planet is noisy and everything is shifting fast. 

It is no wonder we sometimes wish we could just get the train to stop, just for a little while, a little relief.

Last week I found myself at breaking point again, nothing different really, perhaps a child saying no he sees no reason to tie his laces or come for dinner. Something small. But I found myself yelling internally STOP, enough.  I felt overwhelmed with too many changes too fast, too much information to process and too many things to do.  You may well recognise the scene or something similar, where three children simultaneously yelling for different reasons and yanking at your clothes whilst the door bell rings and the phone also rings and you know there is something else you need to do before a certain time and you can’t hear yourself think and dinner is burning too.

So if you recognise something of your own situation in this description please read on.

First, I’d like to tell you a story I heard years ago and have always remembered (no idea who to attribute the story to if you know do drop me a line)

The basic gist I remember goes like this:

A group of intrepid mountaineers have planned a trip. They are in the Himalayas and have hired a team of Sherpas to carry their equipment. They have a schedule. They are happy they are making good progress against their timetable. They are making such good time they find themselves two days ahead of schedule and are celebrating the extra time they have. They are looking forwards to their main climb which is still some days away across country. The sun is shining, they are tired but energised and in good spirits.
Then the next morning their Sherpas sit down and refuse to move. Until now they have cheerfully followed the mountaineers schedule.  But now nothing can persuade them to move another step. Their reason: They have walked too far, too fast. Now their souls need to catch up. They will wait in this spot until they feel their soul has caught up.

I can picture the surprise and consternation of the Western mountaineers faced with a different mentality and beliefs to their own and I can also feel the truth in what the Sherpas told them.

And here is how that showed up for me, and what this has to do with our current situation and healing birth trauma.

When the overwhelm descended last week I booked a session with a colleague.  I opened into the energy of wanting the train to stop so I could get off back and back to its origin. This was not the first time I had felt like this and the original pain was only being triggered by similarities in our current situation to the original situation.  I found myself back as a new born baby. A sensitive empathetic baby who was overwhelmed with the noise and everyday activity of this new world she was born into. The birth had been a big experience for her. The first big transition of her life, where everything was changing and she had no control over her environment and no idea what was going to happen next. Bright lights, talking-  no longer muffled-  from many different, unfamiliar voices, no rhythmic pulsing of her mother’s heart, no comforting feel of the umbilical cord and placenta which is all she had known. The strange sensation of the space around her. It was all just too much at once. Even one of those things would have been a major experience to process.

I went back just a little to when I was half in and half out of my mother. To the first moment when I kind of knew what was about to happen and I was screaming for more time.  It was happening too fast and was too much to cope with. I wasn’t ready, I needed time.  Time for my soul to catch up.

In this healing process I was able to ask for this.  It was the most curious feeling. Time literally stopped. As if I had taken a photograph of the moment and then entered and become the photograph.  Yet I was alive and experiencing myself not in this world in a space of stillness and silence. The pause that I had needed. I stayed there and let myself feel supported by the spirit world as my soul caught up and poured itself into my body. I felt my body and soul gradually relax. Time out from the fast and furious pace I had been experiencing in the powerful energy that is birth.

After a few timeless minutes,  and if you have given birth and experienced the way time can go all kooky then you know what that feels like, I was then ready. The image shifted and the baby me was born, this time she was able to cope with the noise and bright lights. She had the resilience and presence she needed.  She had something I cannot put into words.  A sense of peace and rightness with where she was and what was happening no matter how challenging. The knowledge that she would get through this and it would be ok even if she couldn’t see how or know what would happen. I trusted this feeling and this knowledge.

This was integrated all the way up to the present day where I am still working my way  through life with Covid restrictions, my business, my family, my dreams, and all of life ahead but once more with peace in my heart, a greater sense of trust in life that everything is working out well, and feeling supported in that.  It makes all the difference especially in these challenging times.

If this story speaks to you, I suggest first asking your body and your soul if they need time out and time to catch up and if yes plan it into your schedule. Plan some time to do nothing very much, listen to the birds, rest in nature or in your bath tub.

If you would like to go deeper and explore how your birth experience is impacting on your present day life then please message me to see how I might support you.  I offer 121 healing and support via zoom.